two spooky little things

The other day I bought some fun socks. When I got home, Jenn saw one of the pairs and said “weird, I secretly ordered this very pair for you a few weeks ago but yesterday I got a message saying they are out of stock.” I thought that was a pretty wild coincidence.

And today I was visiting Barb when she offhandedly mentioned Celine Dion. That jolted my brain and reminded me that last night I had a dream that Dion was at a bar, singing karaoke of her own songs. It was really silly and fun of her, and I was like “wow, Dion just made a fan out of me.” I don’t listen to Celine Dion at all or ever even think about her, and Barb and I certainly never talk about her either, so it was interesting that both those things happened on the same day.

Ok, the Dion thing isn’t super spooky. But it’s at least a tiny bit spooky, and I think the sock one is legit spooky. Kind of neat. I still wonder what’s going on when this spooky shit happens, what cosmic forces are at play. Whatever they are, they’re neat and I like em.

^{Adding to the fun here is that the socks in question were alien abduction-themed ones! IT’S A SIGN}

rotting world

I had another bad dream about the world rotting. In last night’s rendition, I was talking with a co-worker of mine but he was in exceedingly rough shape. He had big bags under his eyes, sallow complexion, face was covered in bruises but it didn’t look like he’d been beat up — it just looked like he had been rotting for some time. He was talking away to me as if everything was normal though, and I didn’t know how to bring up his appearance.

I noticed at that point that the ceiling in the large, dark room we were in (it looked like a room in a hotel where they host conventions) was all swollen and black with mould and collapsing in on itself. My co-worker saw me staring at it and said something like “yeah it’s pretty fucked.”

I went outside and saw my chickens were there in a large enclosure someone had built for them. I was relieved because they seemed normal, but then I noticed there were way more chickens than I actually have, and I didn’t recognize a lot of them, and there were chicks there which are impossible for my hens to have because I don’t have a rooster. I was confused. Then one of the new chickens squatted down in front of me and seemed like she was trying really hard to lay an egg, when suddenly she literally shat all of her guts out. I was like “oh shit, I need to put this thing out of its misery fast because that must be the single worst thing that could ever happen to a living thing” but the chicken basically just laid down dead on its own right then. It’s face never showed any emotion throughout this, because chickens never do, and that bothered me. It’s always bothered me (in real life, I’m talking now), like when you see photos of frogs being eaten by birds, their faces never change. Always the same blank expression, even when they known they’re being eaten alive or literally torn apart. I hate that, I find it really disturbing, so the chicken’s blank face as it shat its guts all over the floor got to me.

I wouldn’t call this a nightmare though, because I didn’t wake up screaming. I just felt bad, disturbed. So that’s, um, better than it could have been, I guess.

pre-Halloween bad sleep

Slept like shit last night because my back is sore. While laying awake between 3-6 am, I thought of four things I wanted to remember to do when I got up: add cheddar and oat milk to the grocery list, add some Polanksi films to a film list I made, download No Doubt’s greatest hits, and…I can’t remember the fourth. FUCK. Why is it our minds work so well when we’re lying in bed trying like mad to fucking sleep, and the second we get up our brains go to mush again? AND WHAT IS THE OTHER THING I WANTED TO REMEMBER TO DO??

While I’m here, I’ll recount a stressful dream I had last night. I dreamed Jenn and I were driving some electric van that wasn’t ours, and we were in a big busy city that I believe was supposed to be Vancouver or somewhere on the lower mainland. We were at a gas station trying to charge the van but there was a massive lineup of people both ahead of and behind us, and someone who worked at the station came over and told us we had to leave. It wasn’t clear why, we just had to go, fast. For some reason, at that moment I was completely naked and was like “please, I just need to get dressed, can you give us just a minute” but nope, we had to go. So I was driving our weird van naked in this giant unfamiliar city and we ended up in a massive building where a security guard was like “wtf are you doing, you big weirdo.” I had wrapped myself in a big clear tarp at this point, and was out of the van trying to explain the whole thing to the security guard. Jenn was like “no don’t talk, you’re only appearing even weirder,” but luckily the security guard was chill and lead us into some room. I don’t know why this was a relief but it was, I guess at least I didn’t feel rushed and would be able to put some clothes on. On our way into the room we walked by a dusty Kia Soul that had been extended out the front and became a kid’s bike there. Hard to explain — ok, like a kid’s tricycle in the front and a Kia Soul in the back. I thought it would be easy to find a pic of something like I’m talking about but I’m not having much luck. This is the closest I can find to what I’m trying to describe.

But the one in my dream was more child-like and less hot rod. And a Kia Soul, not a camper.

Wow, why am I even going on about this. Anyway, it was a weird dream. I also had a nightmare earlier in the night but can’t remember it now. I think there was something about mouths rotting in it.

Happy Halloween.

scream dream

Just had a nightmare. Winter, night time, I’m at home looking out a window. It’s dark outside, with just a bit of yellow light shining out the window. I’m wearing a masquerade mask and I don’t know why. I fall asleep standing and looking out the window. Then I awaken (in the dream) suddenly, because I’ve just taken a picture of something with my phone, and the sound and flash startled me. I’m still standing there looking out the window wearing the mask but I don’t know how I took my phone out or what I was trying to take a picture of. The room is dark now, not sure how long I was standing there for. I start getting scared. I try to look around the room, I think I’m in my bedroom and Jenn is asleep on the bed but I can’t tell for sure. I try to wake her up but realize I can’t move or speak. I panic and start trying to scream. I eventually wake myself up in real life because I’m shaking and whimpering.

there is no good antonym for ‘immaculate’

Yesterday I read a news story about a guy who picked up a hitchhiker. The hitchhiker had a backpack, and either the hitchhiker or backpacker smelled awful. Long story short, turned out the hitchhiker had recently killed and decapitated a woman and her rotting head was probably in the backpack. Gross.

Fast forward to last night. I had a nightmare that I was on some nice boat, and there was a rotted severed head just sitting in a corner on the boat. It was so rotted it was turning into a puddle of goop. But slowly, something was growing out of the muck, like the head was reforming itself. I sensed evil and was scared. It was the opposite of immaculate conception — rather than being conceived without stain or sin, this thing was being birthed 100% foul, impure, awful. It occurs to me now that there is no good antonym for ‘immaculate’ — immaculate means perfectly clean, without sin, but the closest to opposite we have for that is ‘dirty,’ or ‘not perfectly clean,’ or ‘with sin,’ and none of those are strong enough, because you can have like one spot, one sin and be considered those things. What if something is ALL sin, like, immaculately foul, perfectly impure? Someone help me out here.

Anyway. Next scene, I was in a big school and the rotted head had fully rebirthed itself into multiple complete human bodies, and they were following/chasing me. It reminded me of the film Possession from 1981, where (SPOILER ALERT) Sam Neill’s clone starts out as a bloody tentacled monster in a hotel room that slowly grows until it becomes his evil doppelganger.

Meanwhile, Jenn had a dream about an ex-boyfriend of hers being an idiot, and a bunch of his other ex’s coming out in court to give their accounts of him being an idiot too. They all started singing and it basically turned into the musical, Chicago. She woke up laughing about it.

I need my dreams to be more Chicago and less Possession.

more nightmares: satan in a rotten town and billy joel

Last night I had consecutive nightmares where random things I encountered were vessels for Satan. There were three or four of these, I woke up from each one and was like “fuck, that was scary,” and went back to sleep only to be tormented by the same thing. I can only remember two of the nightmares though. One was an abandoned seaside town where roads were washed away (but not covered by water now) and all the buildings were rotten, decrepit, derelict. It was the usual fare where I didn’t actually see or hear anything scary, I just felt an ominous, malevolent presence in the place. Woke up and was glad it was over. Went back to sleep and dreamed I was at a very intimate Billy Joel concert. He looked weird though (even weirder than in real life, lol), his head was like a giant peanut (still in its shell). He finished playing a song and was then chatting with members of the audience, then he started walking around and shaking the hand of each person there. When he got to me he just held my hand and stared at me while smiling, frozen in this pose. That was when I knew Billy Joel was actually Satan. I was scared but held his gaze for a while until I was like “when is this going to end” and let go of his hand and looked away. That’s when I woke up.

I told Jenn about the dream and she remarked for about the 1000th time that it’s fucked that I’m so obsessed with and terrified by evil/the devil. She asked about my childhood again and we decided we both had pretty similar exposure to Christianity and promises of eternal torture for not being groveling church-goers, so why did I end up like this while she couldn’t care less about evil and the devil? She said she just never believed the kids who told her she would go to hell for not being baptized, she thought it sounded absurd. I guess that was the difference between us — I believed all of it, and was scared as all get out. I positively loathe the term ‘trauma,’ it’s so fucking hip and overused these days, but I guess the best way to put it is that because I believed in all the bullshit I was being told, I was traumatized with terror. I was just too stupid to know any better, unfortunately.

I wonder if this plays a role in my hate-on for organized religion now. Because it’s personal, you know? It’s just a bummer that organized religion is an abstraction, it’s not something I can physically beat the living shit out of. And I can’t go around screaming into the faces of Jehovah’s Witnesses that stand on street corners, they’re not the individuals who fed me all that scary bullshit either so that would be a little misdirected. But I guess they’re feeding the same shit to other dumb kids, so maybe I actually should go scream in their faces. Oh boy, I shouldn’t have gone down this rabbit hole.

^{I can’t believe I just stumbled across this online. Holy cow, it’s a sign — I have to kill Billy Joel. Ok been nice knowing you all, one way or another I’m going to end up in prison soon.}

yet another dream recounting

Going through the ol’ draft folder again, found this one. Not sure why I didn’t post it at the time. I like reading about dreams I had but have forgotten about because a good amount of the time, as soon as I start reading about it I can picture the whole thing very clearly. Funny how memories get buried in our subconscious but once you unearth them, they can still be good as new. Our minds are crazy.

***

I was at a party at Clayton’s place, which in the dream was a typical nightmare house, sprawling and M. C. Escher-like. I left my phone on a table and when I came back for it, it was gone. Someone else must have taken it and I was baffled because who would want my ancient piece of shit phone? Then I was on a bunch of extremely unsafe stairs that were very high up, very narrow, went nowhere, and there were lots of other people on them too. At this point I realized it was just an annoying dream so I was like “fuck this, I should just kill myself” and jumped off the stairs. But mid-fall, I thought it might be fun to just keep falling, so I did that and it was sweet. Eventually I lost control of the dream again though, and landed with my face in a mud puddle. No joke! And that was it.

some dreams

Two nights ago I dreamed I met Satan. It was scary at first, but I can’t remember why. But he was actually very chill, and explained to me that he wasn’t anyone special, that he was just a guy who used his brain to its fullest potential. Then his brain kind of unfurled out the top of his head like a sail or a solar panel, and he explained how in our heads our brains are all bunched up and crowded, and it’s not able to work well like that. So he just lets it expand outside his head so it can breathe and move and work way better, and anyone could do that if they chose to. It was pretty weird and stupid but it was a huge relief after expecting old Satan to school me in the ways of pain, forever and ever.

Last night I dreamed I was on a rooftop with Dustin from Stranger Things.

I had a tiny knife, more like a seam ripper for sewing, and I was trying to cut his head off with it. No idea why. I managed to make some grotesque flesh wounds but he wasn’t super compliant, and I needed him to stay quiet so we wouldn’t be caught by someone, so it didn’t get any further than that. The dream stayed like this for a long time, until eventually I noticed some janitor lady in the building we were on, and I was able to get her to help me sneak Dustin out with his head still on. Phew. Then I was on vacation in Europe and stressed about travel logistics.

i woke up screaming again last night

Had another bad nightmare last night. In this one I was in a big house, heading to bed at night. I had turned off the lights in a room and then walked out of it, but then the light in that room came back on. I had a terrible, ominous feeling then. I looked back in the room and saw a hand just inside the doorway at the far end of the room, like it had just switched the lights back on, waited for me to look and see it, and was now sliding back out of sight around the corner. That was it, that was when I lost it and started screaming in the dream. As I was waking up I could hear the weird sleep paralysis sounds I was actually making IRL and they weren’t screams at all. Jenn was just making fun of me for them, her impression of them sounds kind of like an owl purring. “Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo,” like that. Whatever, I was terrified. It took me a few minutes to settle down after she woke me up, it really spooked me.

Back in the saddle, baby.

Ps, wordpress says I’ve been blogging for nine years now. Nine years of this kind of drivel. Wow. That’s really…something.

great ideas I come up with in my dreams

Last night I had a dream about a few innovative movie ideas that I think are legit. Here they are.

The movie itself was actually broken into three separate films that all start as one and then branch off into different stories that are still tied together. In my dream it was about three kids that went into a House of Horrors at a midway or fair or whatever. The first film started with the three of them going into the House of Horrors and then getting separated, and the rest of the film followed the first kid through their journey. The second film started around the time the kids got separated, and followed the second kid on their journey. Naturally, the third film followed the third kid, but it also contained three different endings for the kids, and the twist was revealed that each ending was just the delusion of one of the kids, who were all actually trapped and tormented in hell forever — that was the actual ending.

Ok, the idea needs some major tweaking but I think the ‘three stories taking place simultaneously and tied together into one overarching story yet split into multiple films’ premise is neat and has potential, and personally I like the twist. I’m a sucker for unhappy endings and abstract endless torture though.

On top of film idea, the movie had a 3D movie poster! Not like “wear the glasses and see stuff jump out,” the poster actually had stuff sticking out of it. I think there was a ghoul’s head that was basically a Halloween mask coming through the poster, same thing with a hand sticking out of it. Isn’t that neat? I know no one gives a shit about actual movie posters these days so this would be a horrendous waste of money but it’s still a sick idea, I think.

^{Definitely not as sweet as an actual knife sticking out of the poster. Someone hire me, please.}

This isn’t the first time I’ve come up with stuff I like in my dreams. Back in 2005 or so, I was having a lucid dream when I decided I wanted to come up with an epic, doom-y melody. I immediately imagined a celtic-sounding thing that was ok. I woke up then, picked up a guitar and started playing melody. Then I kept humming that while I played some chords underneath it, and bam, I had one of the coolest things I’ve ever written. From a dream! Wild.

Good morning, world. What an interesting start to the day.