One of the great things about lacking empathy is that this coronavirus pandemic isn’t bothering me at all. I’ll tell you, I feel just fine. To be honest, I feel better than fine — I feel great.
A few nights ago, we had friends over for a camp fire and some people were saying how it feels like we’re on the brink of armageddon or the end of the world, that even our nice night together was shot through with feelings of dread and impending doom. I didn’t feel that way at all though, I thought it was just lovely spending quality time with good friends. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Then today, my massage therapist was saying that although she isn’t too concerned about the virus itself, the culture of fear that is reaching a fever pitch right now is affecting her and causing her anxieties about totally unrelated things to flare up. It’s a weird sympathetic response to the fear around her.
I understand how these people are feeling. I’ve felt it over numerous summers because of the droughts and wildfires, but I can’t relate to feeling it over this. Actually, despite all the rain we had in recent months, we haven’t had any rain for several weeks now, and there’s none in the forecast either. This worries me far more than the coronavirus does. I mean, the vast majority of people who are going to die from covid-19 are people who are already pretty close to death, so realistically it would only be moving the inevitable ahead by a few years, and those would probably be the lowest quality years of their lives anyway. My dad falls into this category so if he catches it, he’ll probably croak. I’d surely have a little boo-hoo then but it’s not like it would be unexpected. It wouldn’t be like his life was cut tragically short, and he’s going to die relatively soon anyway so dying from this virus really wouldn’t change much. I can’t get too worked up about it.
In fact, I’ve really enjoyed sensing the terror other people are feeling right now. It’s exhilarating to think that so much of the world is feeling this way, that there’s so much fear in so many people all at once. Plus, it usually feels like it’s just me who is worried about shit but now the tables have turned and I feel fine while lots of other people feel fucked up. It’s a nice change. And on top of that, it’s neat to think that many years in the future, this event may end up being mentioned in the same breath as the plague or Spanish flu. I love the idea that we’re potentially witnessing a historically significant event. These things don’t happen that often so we’re pretty lucky in that sense.
Yup, if you just can’t empathize with people and generally don’t value human life very much, this is actually a pretty decent time to be alive.
That’s not to say I’m 100% pleased with covid-19. I’m sick of the news talking about nothing else. I’m already tired of hearing about the coronavirus, I don’t want to be stuck reading about nothing but it for the next month or two. Blech.
Oh another thing I don’t like is how lots of people are saying melodramatic shit like, “be strong, we WILL get through this!” Of course we’ll get through it. It’s a fucking illness that is only killing old and sick people, everyone else is just getting the sniffles. Who needs to look to such heroic posturing just to make it through these days? Is staying home and entertaining yourself really that bad? Shit, man. Think of what so many other people have lived through — war, torture, famine, displacement — if they can make it through that kind of shit, I don’t want to hear people acting like this is remotely difficult. Being limited to a cozy home with running water, cupboards full of food, and myriad forms of entertainment is not a challenge. This is still heaven, and if you don’t think so, I hope that one day, you have to confront truly adverse conditions to see what suffering is and what people can get through when they have no other choice.
Now I’m going to get back to practicing paradiddles on my drum kit because that’s how I’ve been spending some of my free time right now. It’s been really nice. They sound awesome, and once I get into the groove of it the muscle memory takes over and it’s pretty zen.
Oh, unrelated but I wanted to mention that I’ve been tripping out when I dry my hair lately. The sounds I hear of the towel rubbing my head don’t seem to sync up with the actual movements. It’s really weird. I like it though, tripping out is neat.
crimson highway 