email to Ben about the family of serial killers

I wrote about this to Ben a few days ago but I feel like I want to dig deeper into it. Or maybe even just show it to a few more people, because of how wack I think it is.

The other week, I overheard a podcast Jenn was listening to about Ed Gein. It was great. He was nuts. It got me thinking about all the serial killer stuff that adorned Cannibal Corpse’s Butchered at Birth and Tomb of the Mutilated albums, so I went down a small rabbit hole on that stuff. I found that the sample on Tomb of the Mutilated of the guy talking about cutting out a vagina and eating it is Arthur Shawcross, an American serial killer and rapist I had never heard of before. Here is the song with his admission at the start.

Now look at this picture of Shawcross in prison in 2002.

That’s his daughter on the left and granddaughter on the right. First off, I can’t imagine smiling and hugging a man who killed and raped women and children. If they were men, mad respect. Jk. Anyway, I just don’t understand how anyone could be like “yeah but that’s my DAD.” To me, he’s not really human. He lacks some of the critical components that make us human. He’s a malfunctioning robot that is stuck on ‘kill’ mode. How could his family trust him not to rape and kill them and eat their genitals too? I don’t think I can believe that a broken human like Shawcross is able to draw those kinds of lines anywhere — I feel like him smiling and holding these women in this photo is a purposeful facade, just a way of looking like a normal human, just him trying to fit in so it looks good on a parole application and maybe he can one day be freed and be able to kill again.

The other aspect that bothers me here is that his granddaughter is wearing a Burzum shirt. For the uninitiated, Burzum is a one man Norwegian black metal band consisting of a guy who stabbed another Norwegian musician to death and to this day espouses white supremacist ideology. Burzum is basically unlistenable trash, and dog whistle of a band that I don’t think anyone actually enjoys — I think Burzum’s “fans” are actually just thirsty edge lords.

But Burzum is an extreme metal band nonetheless, so I assume that Shawcross’ granddaughter is aware of more common extreme metal like Cannibal Corpse, and is likely aware of the sample of Shawcross found on the aforementioned Cannibal Corpse song.

So when this young woman wears a Burzum shirt to go visit and take pictures with her serial killer rapist grandfather in prison, I feel like she is basically saying, “I think it’s super neat that my grandad is a monster and prominently featured on a death metal album dedicated to rape and murder, and I’m such an extreme edge lord that I’m also into supporting white nationalism (but only in a semi-covert way by wearing the shirt of a band that only a few people are aware of as being white nationalist).” I feel like she is just a small step away from wearing a Tomb of the Mutilated shirt to visit him, and outright celebrating her grandfather’s atrocities. It’s right on the precipice of being beyond crass and tasteless, of being utterly offensive. And I hate saying that because I feel like I’m offensive a lot of the time — I feel like a hypocrite when I say someone else is offensive. I’m not sure how to reconcile that but that’s probably a whole other blog post.

Basically, seeing that picture of a serial killer smiling and hugging his child and grandchild, who may be totally okay with the monstrous things he has done, just made me really sad about the malevolence, ignorance, childishness, and stupidity humans are capable of.

we like to believe in fake good things, and not believe in actual bad things

A while back I bitched about all the snake oil shit that people in the developed world buy in mass quantities — glucosamine, chondroiton, ginger, curcumin, epsom salts, that kind of stuff. Even omega-3 fatty acids, people frequently talk about what a panacea that stuff is, how omega-3’s (might) improve heart health, fight depression, improve eye health, reduce ADHD symptoms, fight autoimmune diseases, prevent cancer and dementia, fight asthma, reduce fat in your liver, improve bone and joint health, decrease menstrual cramping, improve sleep, and on and on — but studies have found the only thing they can actually confirm omega-3’s help with is inflammation. And we’re not even talking any significant amount of anti-inflammatory properties. It’s not like you can be like “oh I don’t need Advil for my sprained ankle, I eat lots of avocados.”

The reality is that omega-3 fatty acids are not going to fix all your problems, or even any of your problems, and the fact that so many people believe in panaceas like this is a massive red flag — if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. But we all want quick, easy fixes for our problems so we disregard common sense and the numerous studies that tell us all this stuff is snake oil, and eagerly buy mountains of the stuff.

Paradoxically, we have what I consider fairly damning evidence that aluminum is linked to dementia. And we know that microplastics are made with carcinogenic materials and are being found in everything we consume now — it’s only a matter of time before the studies come out that say “yup, we can now conclusively say that eating carcinogenic materials is causing cancer.” But movement on removing aluminum from household use is still not complete even after decades (you can still get deodorant with it in it and buy aluminum cookware), and no one has done shit about microplastics so far.

Why do we believe in superstitious horseshit when it’s touted as making us feel better, but disregard the things in our lives we know are bad for us but inconvenient to do anything about?

Because we are lazy and stupid, I think. Lazy because we don’t want to do the hard work that is usually necessary to feel better, and doubly so because we don’t want to do the work involved in removing harmful yet convenient things from our lives. And stupid because we choose to believe obvious fallacies but not obvious truths — we choose to ignorant and sick.

We are so fucked.

^{Remember in the early 2000’s when goji berries were the hot panacea for 10 minutes? Holy moly, we are so fucking dumb.}

No one is responsible for Russia’s invasion of Ukraine but the iron-fisted Russian elite so please stop hassling anyone else who has any kind of Russian heritage or connection

Russia is currently laying waste to Ukraine, and the world is obviously aghast about it. But I keep reading articles about Russian churches and community centers here in Canada being vandalized, and a 20-yr old Russian pianist had his concert cancelled for fears of people protesting outside and heckling inside.

I feel like it shouldn’t need to be said but since this stuff is happening, I guess it does need to be said: that’s totally fucked. Russian musicians, and Canadians who attend Russian churches and community centers, have nothing to do with what Russia’s totalitarian government is doing. Thinking otherwise is as ignorant as any other racism or bigotry, which most of us can acknowledge is totally unacceptable, so why are we so tolerant of these attacks on Russians?

Maybe we are tolerant of it because we feel like this is a crazy and intense situation, and we need to allow people to vent their anger over Russia’s actions? I don’t know. Or maybe we really are this dumb, this unable to recognize the misplaced hate we are allowing ourselves to embrace. I guess I think it’s a blend of both, but mostly the latter. Most people are just fucking dumb and lack the critical thinking abilities necessary to look at these actions and say, “wait a minute, these folks I’m fucking with have absolutely nothing to do with Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.”

I don’t know how anyone can have faith or pride in the human race. So consistently disappointing, frustrating.

^{This is not unlike spray painting antisemitic comments on a synagogue.}

easy targets

Sometimes I meet or learn about people that I strongly dislike, and I want to give those people shit. But occasionally I find that those people are strongly disliked universally, and it has a weird effect on me — it makes me dislike them even more, but it also makes me pity them.

For example, let’s talk about Dutch UFC fighter, Germaine de Randamie.

Normally, I’m a huge fan of odd ducks, and de Randamie is certainly that — she’s part of a small pool of European fighters in the UFC, and an even smaller pool of European female fighters. She has super thin, frizzy hair. She’s tall and lanky, built like a teenage boy — unlike many popular female UFC fighters, she could never pass as a model. She’s got an annoying, super peaceful, almost Buddhist vibe to her. Because of these things, she couldn’t have the immediate fanbase that a hot little blonde American girl would in the UFC, and that’s why I was interested in her at first — I just thought, “wow, she’s tough to market.”

On top of that, she is tough as fuck.

I found that combination of being innately unpopular despite being one of the best in the game fascinating, so I followed de Randamie a bit. But as time went on, I came to be annoyed by those things I initially found intriguing. She’s so odd that she didn’t do herself any favours in her interviews, and then she cheated like crazy in her now infamous fight with Holly Holm (she threw multiple punches after the bell, multiple times) in which de Randamie was crowned the UFC’s first women’s featherweight champion. Then she refused to fight the next challenger, at first stating it was due to a hand injury but later changing her story and saying it was actually due to the challenger’s history of testing positive for steroids once, 10 years prior. She was stripped of the belt and basically disappeared for a year and a half, only to reappear lately, lamenting how much flak she caught on social media for her last fight and the ensuing fiasco, and now saying she never really felt comfortable in the featherweight division anyway.

At this point, I still want to see de Randamie fight — she’s still one of the best — but I want to see her a) not cheat, and b) get her ass handed to her. She’s proven herself to be a cheater, a coward, and a hypocrite, so she’s lost me. Now when I see her say dumb stuff in interviews, part of me wants to go to her twitter page and tell her how wack she is.

But then I see a bunch of other people online already saying basically the same thing I would, and suddenly I feel bad for ol’ de Randamie. It must be shitty to be so unpopular, to receive all that hate from so many people. And what’s worse is that it appears she isn’t even able to recognize why people dislike her, or admit to her faults. On one hand, that level of pride and/or ignorance makes her even more unlikable…but it also makes her pitiable, in a way. I mean, if she doesn’t have the ability to see her faults or the inner strength to admit to them, she’s not really able to do any better, you know?

So, am I justified in giving her shit? Is there a hope that something I say might flick the switch for her, or am I just picking on the dumb kid at the playground? I feel like it’s more the latter than the former so I think I’ll keep my big yap shut and just leave her alone.

Plus, if I harass her and then bump into her, I’ll probably wake up on the floor with two black eyes. I shouldn’t fuck with that.

Ehhhh, nope.

How to increase traffic to your blog

I’ve been blogging for four or five years now, and about all manners of things. This handy dandy WordPress site allows me to see which of my posts get the most views, when, and from what parts of the world. Using this info, I’ve been able to determine what topics people like to read about, and I’m now going to share the secret to my blog’s wild success with you:

Write about stupid, inane bullshit.

Yup. That’s what the people want. My most viewed posts are movie reviews and bitching about metal bands that suck. You can pour your guts out and bare your soul to the world, talk about real issues like government corruption and our rapidly declining environment, or write terrible poetry or whatever, but people don’t give a shit about that stuff so your viewership will be pathetic. Write about the latest piece of shit superhero movie though, and people will eat it up.

I haven’t seen it and yet I somehow know that it’s a complete fucking turd. But my views for today will be through the roof!

What a sad statement on humanity. I often wonder how many people actually read the news or care about important current events, and how most people can’t be bothered with that stuff and would actually rather distract themselves from those things with mindless fluff, like entertainment news. The majority of us are making the choice to be human cattle, and McDonald’s and superhero movies are our fodder — it’s incredible. It’s no wonder that such a small percentage of the human race controls how the rest of the world works. We’re basically begging to be exploited by anyone smarter or more powerful than us.

So if what matters to you is attracting more dumbass cattle to your blog, just write about dumbass stuff that will help them ignore the fact that the human race is circling the drain as we speak. Ta da, now you’re popular. Congratulations.

Note how viewership for my blog is steadily plummeting as this rambling, miserable post goes on.

it’s tough to be passionate about stuff but bite your tongue when talking to people who don’t feel the same way as you

the other day, a friend of mine made a joke about not giving a shit about something that i personally care about a lot, and i’ve been thinking about it since. the joke was funny and all but i haven’t been able to stop wondering how serious they were. the boring, loathsome part of me that no one wants to spend any time with wanted to tell my friend that i hoped they were 100% joking since the topic is one i think everyone should pay more attention to.

of course, i’m glad i didn’t say something stupid like that because that’s the kind of shit that costs you friendships and turns you into a weird, isolated, militant hippie, living alone on a gulf island. i care a lot about a lot of shit but i don’t want to end up like one of those bitter souls.

and that’s what got me here now. i think it’s a real conundrum because if you are passionate about stuff, you will either chew people’s ears off with your “the world is a festering piece of shit” act which isolates you from most normal people, or you will hear something that offends you but you will deny what you feel in your heart and shove the venom back down into your guts, your face twisting into an uncomfortable mixture of a fake smile and a grimace as you sweat like a mad bastard with scorn for yourself, everyone around you, and the whole fucking world.

both of those options are the shits.

meanwhile, the easy-going and carefree are doubly blessed: the less they care about weighty issues, the happier they are, and the happier they are, the more people like them — happy, popular, and blissfully ignorant. life is swell for the cheerful pricks.

the miserable become more miserable, the happy become more happy. it makes sense but it doesn’t seem right or just to me.

it’s only downhill from here.

even in 2017, cavemen abound

i’ve read a few articles lately about some people involved in the mixed martial arts community that are vehemently opposed to homosexuality. one of these guys is ramzan kadyrov, who is both the leader of the russian republic of chechnya and an owner of an MMA gym and fight promotion there. his government has been condemned by the UN for allegedly kidnapping, torturing, and murdering gay men. kadyrov denies the allegations but paradoxically openly supports “honour killings” of homosexuals by their family members. he goes on to say there are no gay men in chechnya, and if there are, they should be sent to canada “to purify [chechnyan] blood.”

another chechnyan MMA promoter, mairbek khasiev, was recently quoted as saying, “sometimes the devil is afraid of the thoughts within a faggot’s head.”

i can’t believe that in this day and age, these kinds of values still exist. it makes me feel like we’re back in the middle ages and criminals are being publicly tortured and killed while throngs of civilians mad with bloodlust scream excitedly and pelt the dying with stones and rotten food. it makes me feel like humans are still the same nitwits who once believed in witchcraft and magic potions, like a lot of people are still so dumb that they react to things they don’t understand or relate to with fear, anger, and violence. think of a monkey smashing a phone in terror when it rings. that’s about on par.

what’s even worse is that i know the same ‘values’ (it seems like an oxymoron to use that word there) exist here in canada too. they are not as common and are usually veiled because the people who give such a shit about what other people do in their private lives know their opinions are not condoned here, but they’re still there, simmering just below the surface.

all over the world, human beings are just horrible. despite all our technological advancements that might suggest otherwise, the human race will probably always be guilty of incredible ignorance, stupidity, and a desire to violently force our beliefs on each other.

the funny thing is that i almost feel like a hypocrite for denigrating these folks. am i no better, judging them for their personal choices?

oh yeah, i don’t advocate anyone murdering them so i guess it’s a little different.

i wouldn’t cry if he died though.